


Cats make everything better

by Siana



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: M/M, cat shenanigans, lots of cat shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-04
Updated: 2015-05-04
Packaged: 2018-03-29 01:16:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3876841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Siana/pseuds/Siana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kuroko brings home a litter of kittens one day. Shenanigans ensue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> cross posted from tumblr. May or may not be updated in the future.

When Akashi opened the front door to the house he shares with Kuroko, he wasn’t greeted by the usual soft and quite “Welcome home, Akashi-kun,” but instead with the excited meows of a box’s worth of kittens.

“I found them abandoned in an alley.” Kuroko said with earnest. “I couldn’t leave them there.”

No, Akashi thought, looking down at the box of kittens. There were seven of them. He really couldn’t abandon them, Kuroko’s heart was too gentle and too big for that.

“What are we to do with them?”

Kuroko just _looked_ at him.

The next day, Akashi bought a litter box, among other things.

~*~

“We can’t keep them.”

Kuroko looked up at him from where he was sprawled on the floor, covered in kittens. They liked Akashi well enough - when he fed them - but as soon as Kuroko was in range, they were all over him. Akashi supposed they were on to something there.

“I thought Akashi-kun had a handle on his other personality.” Kuroko muttered and attempted to wrap himself around all seven of the kittens. One, a small tri-colored kitten that stood out from its brown/grey tabby siblings made an effort to wriggle out of Kuroko’s arms and climb onto his head.

Akashi sighed. How could he say no to that? How could anyone expect him to be strong in the face of true adorableness? But someone had to.

“I’m not saying we should abandon the cats. But we should make an effort to find new homes for them?”

The only thing missing now were tears. The adventurous tri-colored kitten had managed to climb onto Kuroko’s head, turned and meowed at Akashi. As though it wanted to support Kuroko’s accusatory look.

Kuroko lifted one of the kittens up to his face. “Did you hear that? Akashi-kun wants to separate us.” The kitten tried to paw at Kuroko’s nose. “Don’t you know pets should always be kept together?”

Akashi ignored the urge to rub the bridge of his nose. He could finally understand why Midorima did that all the time. “We can hand them off in pairs. And,” He was going to regret this, but he didn’t doubt that taking all the cats away from Kuroko would be even worse. “We can keep a pair ourselves.”

Kuroko blinked. The kitten on his head stood up on its paws and meowed again. King of the hill already. “Can we keep three?” He asked, blinking up at Akashi and lifting the kitten in his hands for good measurement.

Akashi sighed. “Fine, we can keep three of them.”

“And if we don’t find new owners?”

“We’ll see then.”

“No giving away cats as lucky items either.” Kuroko added and Akashi could no longer suppress his smile. king-of-the-hill cat took a step forward only to tumble down Kuroko’s head, landing in a pile of its sibling which promptly ended up in a mess of distraught kittens meowing and pawing at each other.

“I want to keep this one.” Kuroko said smugly.

~*~

They did find new owners. Kuroko insisted on thorough background checks to make sure they were good people, but in the end they gave two of the boys to a young couple who had just moved in together and two of the girls to a family with a young daughter who fell instantly in love with them.

That left them with king of the hill whom Kuroko insisted to name Sei, a rather small, even for his age, reddish brown tabby tomcat that he named Tiger ‘so that he may grow as big and strong as his namesake’ and one nosy grey tabby girl who has yet to be named as Kuroko has offered the honors to Akashi. His suggestion of calling her haineko had been shot down however.

“Please be a little more creative Akashi-kun.” Kuroko had said, king of the hill on his favorite place on his head. Akashi refused to call him Sei. Tiger had rolled on his back and was currently enjoying belly rubs from Kuroko. Not-haineko was attempting to climb up Akashi’s leg.

“You named a cat after me.” Akashi said drily.

“So?” Kuroko replied with a tilt of his head. King of the hill had gotten better at holding on and only almost tumbled off this time. “Are you saying it is a bad name?”

“What about Tiger?”

“Kagami-kun is very strong and persistent. I have hopes his good fortune will rub off on Tiger-kun.”

“I don’t think Tiger-kun needs any more good fortune.” Akashi said, just as Tiger announced his satisfaction with an exceptionally loud purr. He was already a lot like his namesake.

Not-haineko had managed to climb a sizeable distance on his leg and was reaching areas where her tiny yet sharp claws could prick through the fabric right into his skin. Akashi peeled her off. He wanted to set her down on the ground but when he caught Kuroko’s look he settled her on his lap.

“I’ll think of a name.” He conceded. The sight of Kuroko’s smile, albeit hidden halfway by Tiger whom he held up to cuddle, was worth it.  

~*~

King of the hill tolerated him with the longsuffering patience a sovereign has for an unruly yet worthy subject. Tiger ignored him which worked well for them, unless Akashi was in charge of feeding. Then Tiger became the most pleasant and sweet cat one could imagine, rubbing his head against Akashi’s leg, purring at his sight and generally being a fluffy ball of sunshine. As soon as food was served, Akashi returned to being irrelevant.

He had yet to find a name for the third.

She had found her favorite spot on his lap. It was so far the only thing Kuroko had contested their new house pets for. The little grey tabby, to her credit, had not gone without a rather hissy fight when Kuroko had extracted her from Akashi’s lap to sit there himself. Since then, she had taken to following Akashi everywhere he went as soon as he came to the front door.

“She’s marking her territory.” Kuroko remarked one evening as they sit together on the couch to watch the latest of Aomine’s NBA games on tape. The grey tabby was rubbing herself all over Akashi, occasionally bumping her head against Kuroko who was snuggled up against his side.

“And you leave her uncontested?” Akashi asked with a raised eyebrow. “You deeply wound me Tetsuya.”

“Akashi-kun should know how to defend his virtue from a cat.” Kuroko said without inflection. “Maybe she just wants to remind you to name her.”

Akashi sighed. On the screen Aomine had just sunk one of his absurdly smooth formless shots, much to the delight of the audience. The opposing team couldn’t be nearly as frustrated as he right now. He had come to take a liking to the cats, despite everything, but he hadn’t had any alone time with Kuroko since the grey kitten had decided he was to be her playmate.

“Maybe we should call her nuisance.” Akashi commented as he scratched her under her chin. She closed her eyes and purred low in her chest for a few moments before returning to scenting him all over.

Kuroko looked at him in mock shock. “Akashi-kun what has the poor cat ever done to you?”

“Infringed on my privacy.” He said smoothly. Kuroko blushed faintly and looked away. There had been that one time when Akashi had thought he’d shaken her and just as he had stripped Kuroko, she had popped up on their pillow and demanded attention.

They were interrupted by loud meowing at their feet. Tiger, unlike his siblings, liked to be lifted up instead of climbing his way up his owners’ limbs. The only one missing was king of the hill, but if Akashi had to guess, he was probably lounging on the most elevated place he could find - and reach - to lord over his belongings.

As soon as Tiger was snuggled up in Kuroko’s lap, the grey tabby gave up her efforts to chase off her rival. She’d apparently assumed that Kuroko was Tiger’s. She climbed into Akashi’s lap and plopped down, exhausted or simply lazy. Akashi returned his focus to the screen, absently rubbing the small kitten’s belly.

This really wasn’t so bad.

~*~

King of the hill scampered off with his tail raised proudly, clearly broadcasting his disappointment in his subjects after they returned from the vet to get flea shots. Tiger tried to elicit pity from Kuroko by playing wounded soldier to little avail. Kuroko may have been the one to instantly fall in love with the cats, the one who pampered them the most, but he was also the one least swayed to give in to their begging. Akashi knew from experience though that Tiger would get an extra large portion of his favorite food tonight. He really was a lot like his namesake.

The grey one shot out of her carrier as soon as the door was open, not to be seen again for the rest of the day. When Akashi and Kuroko went to bed she returned, waiting for the opportune moment when Akashi was on the brink of falling asleep to settle herself on his face.

It was the first time Kuroko bared the cats entrance to the bedroom by locking the door. It took about three hours of lying awake and listening to her whine and cry in front of the door to reopen it. Akashi sacrificed his pillow for her to sleep on and they were woken one more time when Tiger came skulking in to cuddle with Kuroko’s feet, but the rest of the night went undisturbed.

~*~

The little nuisance was also the first one to bring them a gift.

One morning, on the rare days Akashi got to sleep in, he was woken by Kuroko bolting from the bed. “I’ll take care of breakfast; Akashi-kun can make the bed.” He called from the door and with that he was gone.

A rather proud meow alerted him to the grey kitten - although kitten wasn’t exactly right anymore - sitting on his pillow. Next to a mouse carcass, bleeding all over the fine silk fabric.

He did end up making the bed. At least Kuroko’s breakfast made up for it.

~*~

Tiger didn’t come home one day. They lived a ways outside of Kyoto on a large property with lots of trees and growth, far away from any major street. So they had decided to have their cats be outdoor cats. They largely preferred to stay inside, but they spend enough time outside.

Kuroko explained there was no need to worry, cats oftentimes stayed outside for days only to return and demand food and attention. But this was Tiger and he was the least adventurous of his friends, preferring to stay inside and either sleep, eat or bothering Kuroko for belly rubs.

It was the grey one who brought him back the next day. Tiger looked like he had been through a fight. He was scruffy and dirty and had a few scratches in places. His left ear was torn and he was slightly limping on one leg. Nothing too bad, the doctor diagnosed. He likely got into a fight with another tomcat, but would be on his feet soon enough.

They decided to have their cats sterilized rather sooner than later. Kuroko didn’t like it, but he saw the necessity.

After their visit to the vet to patch Tiger up and setting up an appointment for the surgeries, they stopped by a butcher shop to get fresh calf’s liver as a treat.

“I’ll call her Mei.” Akashi said that night, when the five of them were all snuggled up on the couch. Even Sei had deigned to come down from his perch and mingled with the peasants.

Kuroko hummed, but he kissed Akashi and for once Mei wasn’t trying to bump her head in between. She was too busy cleaning a mildly protesting Tiger who had been bathed and scrubbed, but apparently not to his sister’s satisfaction.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kittens + Skittles = Chaos

The thing about having a basketball court in your backyard was for one a very happy Kuroko. But also meant that they had frequent visits of their high and middle school friends. All under various pretenses, but most visits ultimately ended up with a game of basketball.

The implement of cats into their household did not change that.

So one lazy weekend Akashi came down into the main room from an extensive shogi match against himself to find a rather amusing scene in session.

Kuroko sat on the sofa, Sei lounging on his head as per usual. Mei had for once retreated to higher ground and was perched on the coffee table, staring at the disgrace her other brother was currently making of himself.

Kagami was crouched on the floor and stared intently at his namesake who stared back with just as much focus.

Akashi met Kuroko’s eyes and inquired with a raised brow. Kuroko gave him a slightly exasperated look which meant as much as ‘this has been going on for a while. Sit down and drink a cup of tea with me; we might as well make the best of this situation’.

He picked up the teacup waiting for him and let Kuroko pour him some of the tea. Mei scampered over moments later and climbed into his lap.

“What is he doing?” Akashi asked after a prolonged time of intense stare-off.

“I am not sure.” Kuroko said with a thoughtful undertone. “I would say he is trying to establish his position as the alpha-male. Kagami-kun does not know much about cats it seems.”

“The existence of the alpha male in pack organized species has been debunked as a myth, as it is a behavioral pattern exhibited by individuals in isolated and unfamiliar surroundings.” Akashi put down his teacup. “Get off the floor Kagami Taiga. Intimidating our cat is not going to increase your skill level in basketball.”

Like magic, the mention of basketball pulled Kagami from his cat-induced stupor. He blinked, then shook his head and slowly fell back on his haunches. Tiger meowed loudly.

“Why do you have a cat that looks like me?”

Kuroko sighed exasperatedly. “Our cat does not look like Kagami-kun. Much rather Kagami-kun looks like our cat. Maybe he should take styling tips from Himuro-san. Imitating cats won’t help you convince Aomine-kun of your feelings.”

Kagami sputtered; face flushing brightly red in response. “What are you… Kuroko, you-“ He was about to reach out and undoubtedly give Kuroko a knock on the head, but he caught himself at the sight of Akashi. He cleared his throat awkwardly and dropped his outstretched hand. “I have no idea what you are talking about.” He insisted stubbornly.

Kuroko just smiled knowingly until Kagami looked away, muttering under his breath. Tiger, undaunted, bumped his head against Kagami’s knee, having obviously determined that the stranger was a friend rather than an intruder.

Instead of facing more judgment from the couch, Kagami went to scratch his namesake behind the ears. They did not play basketball that day. It was all just as well.

~*~

At the beginning of their cat adventures they had tried to establish some basic ground rules. The bedroom and Akashi’s study were to be off limits, Kuroko’s house shoes were no suitable sleeping place and burying their siblings while they attempted to do their business in cat litter was inacceptable. They were all very reasonable rules Akashi thought. But apparently not if applied to cat reason.

Therefore, any room was fair game, cats slept wherever they pleased and bullying amongst siblings was the norm (or, as Kuroko liked to point out, Mei was a spoiled princess who did whatever she pleased, complete with a pointed look directed at Akashi).

Akashi would dispense some effort into figuring out how exactly he and Kuroko had been degraded into the cats’ personal servants but he was too busy keeping Mei off his shogi board. It was easy enough. As soon as he switched his attention to the cat, she lost all interest in the board. It was rather difficult to play like this, however.

He picked up Mei from one of her attempts at thwarting his game. He put her down on his lap and indulged her for a full five minutes. By the end of it she had rolled on her back, paws in the air and purring so loudly Kuroko likely could hear it in the other room.

“I’ll spray you with the garden hose.” He warned her and put her down. It should probably concern him that he was as far as threatening his cats, but Kuroko had assured him that most cat owners tended to be rather extreme with their eccentrics.

Mei ignored the threat. She was blithely pawing at his king as though she knew exactly what was the most important piece on the board.

“Should I take her off your hands?” Akashi startled, almost dropping the cat he had just removed from the board. It went a long way in showing just how distracted he was by Mei that he had missed Kuroko’s entry.

“If you would, yes.” Akashi was relieved to finally hand her off. He had grown rather fond of their pets, Mei specifically, but there were moments when they still tested his patience.

Kuroko set down the tray with tea he had prepared and took the protesting cat from Akashi. Kuroko, however made no move to leave the study. Instead he settled in Akashi’s desk chair, cat firmly placed in his lap and watched Akashi play.

They sat in silence for a while, only interrupted by Mei’s occasional attempt at escaping Kuroko’s arms. But even that couldn’t pull Akashi from his immersion. He was completely in the game, running strategies and counter strategies through his mind as he battled imaginary foes.

He was in the middle of working out a strategy against a rather complex move when it happened. Kuroko, all too busy with occupying Mei, completely missed the other cat sneaking in through the door. Tiger, curious as to where everyone had disappeared to, pounced as soon as he saw the assembly of wooden pieces, landing straight on the board and scattering the pieces all over the place.

Akashi could only stare in numb shock as his king sailed off and landed with perfect precision in his forgotten teacup.

“I guess that means checkmate.” Kuroko said with a faint smile.

Akashi regarded him for a moment. He hadn’t thought of it before, but it was rather rare for Kuroko to watch him play. He tended to be too absorbed in his games and paid little attention to his surroundings. Kuroko had to be lonely to seek him out like that.

He really should know better. “How about we lock the cats out in the garden?” He suggested. “That way, we should be safe from disturbances.”

Kuroko didn’t smile, but his eyes lit up.

The cats complained noisily at being thrown out, but both of them were too busy with each other to take much notice.

~*~

Kitty news spread rather fast and that said something, considering the news source was Kagami, who albeit being friends with the rest of the generation of miracles, was a rather long suffering one.

Regardless, days later the doorbell rang and a very excited Kise, who for some inexplicable reason had dragged Midorima along, stood in the doorway. Since Midorima was there and there was nothing that could ever convince him of braving Kise’s company alone, Takao was also there. Or maybe Midorima was there because Takao had dragged him along after an invite from Kise. Akashi supposed he could spend the time analyzing just how this combination of people ended up on their doorstep or he could do something productive.

“Akashicchi!” Kise beamed. “We came to play basketball.” Behind him Takao snickered and Midorima looked incredibly put off.

“How rude Kise-kun. You never come to see Akashi-kun and I.” Kuroko said from where he sneaked up to them behind Akashi. To their credit, no one jumped at his sudden appearance.

Kise’s bright expression faltered within moments. “I always want to see Kurokocchi!” He insisted and made to pull Kuroko into a hug. He was deterred however, not by Kuroko himself, but by the sight of one very grumpy cat that stalked up behind him. Mei had come to see who dared to intrude. Kise squealed and dove past Kuroko.

“Oh my god, he is so cute.”

Midorima huffed a breath and grabbed Takao’s hand. “That’s it. We are going home right now.” He made precisely one attempt to drag Takao off, but stopped when it became evident that Takao had no intention to leave.

“Now Shin-chan, we’ve come all the way here. Might as well say hello to the family.” He winked and pulled Midorima inside. “Oh and sorry about that.” He pointed towards Kise who was sprawled on the floor with a now very pleased Mei walking all over his face. “He just wanted to see the cats. Well actually, I wanted to see the cats too. Shin-chan just came for the company.”

Midorima hmphed but didn’t contradict him. Maybe he just knew better.

“Please, come in.” Kuroko said flatly and maybe a tiny bit amused, ignoring the fact everyone had already made their way inside. Akashi closed the door and hid a smile.

“I hope you are aware that the feline currently prancing on your face is a she.” Midorima said primly to the downed Kise. Kise’s reply was muffled by the cat paw lodged in his mouth.

“We should invest in a different set of friends.” Kuroko said drily. Akashi just smiled.

Sei took an instant liking to Midorima, much to his dismay. But once Kuroko established the house rules - ‘Midorima-kun is our esteemed guest, but I would prefer if he would not bully our cats’ - he had no choice but to suffer through Sei climbing on top of his head. Takao couldn’t stop laughing.

Kise had managed to make his way into the living room, but now served as a playground for both Mei and Tiger, much to their combined delight.

“I don’t suppose there will be any basketball happening today?” Kuroko addressed Takao, who had finally stopped laughing.

“Sorry Kuroko. But Shin-chan really wanted to meet the cats. Don’t tell him I said this though.”

“I am right here Takao. Shut up, I never said that.” Midorima glared, but it was rather ineffective with the cat perched on his head. Sei, like the others, was getting almost too big for this. Akashi didn’t expect that would ever stop him.

“Are you dead yet?” Takao poked Kise with a toe. “If you are, can I have the first go at your wardrobe?”

“So mean, Takaocchi!” Kise complained, trying again to remove Mei from his face. He failed.

“I can’t hear you, dead person.”

“I advise you to remove the corpse currently marring your living room. The cats are already eating it.” Midorima said gravely.

Takao snickered. Tiger stalked down Kise’s chest and then climbed on Takao’s foot, meowing insistently as he did. “Poor Kise, even the cats are abandoning him.”

“He wants a lift.” Akashi informed him. While Mei and Sei were perfectly fine with walking and climbing wherever they wanted, Tiger preferred to be carried around half the time.

Takao turned out to be surprisingly flexible as he lifted his leg and turned his foot inward with surprising ease. He lifted up the cat clinging to his pant leg and brought it to face level. “You remind me of someone. Of two people actually. Say, you’re parents don’t happen to be Shin-chan and Kagami?”

“Takao! Don’t say stupid things.”

“I suppose it could be worse.” Akashi mused. He reached out to entwine his fingers with Kuroko’s. “Atsushi could threaten to eat the cats.”

“Aomine-kun could play basketball with them.” Kuroko replied darkly. That was indeed a rather dark thought, knowing Aomine.

~*~

Aomine did not end up playing basketball with the cats. Murasakibara, however, had to be convinced not to eat up Mei who daringly climbed up his pant leg. Sei took one look at him and decided it was simply not worth the trouble. So even kings had their limits.

Aomine came with Momoi - who was very delighted - in tow, took one look at the first cat that came out to greet him - Tiger - and beat a hasty retreat. It turned out he was allergic.

Akashi certainly was not the only one who filed that information away for later use.

~*~

“Now this is certainly a problem.” Akashi crossed his arms in front of his chest and stared at the tree.

“I liked that tree.” Kuroko muttered and slowly shook his head.

Akashi gave him side eyes. “What is Tetsuya talking about?”

“Sei-kun is trapped and we have no choice but to chop the tree down to rescue him.” Kuroko gave him a serious, almost chastising look. “I hope Akashi-kun does not plan on abandoning his son?”

Akashi felt the edges of his mouth quirk upwards. “It must be Tetsuya’s son then. My son would never get himself stuck in a tree.” He said with a smug smile.

“That’s why the tree has to go down.” Kuroko said darkly.

Akashi chuckled. “Hold on with the axe. I’ll call Taiga.”

”Good thinking. Kagami is strong enough to wield an axe.”

Akashi smiled fondly and ruffled Kuroko’s hair, knowing full well how much he disliked it. “I expect Taiga to rescue the cat without making the tree suffer.”

“He _is_ a firefighter after all.” Kuroko mused. He remained behind to keep an eye on poor Sei who was meowing pitifully. He had climbed the trees a few times before, but this time he had attempted to reach the crown. Then a bird had spooked him and it had all gone downhill from there.

Kuroko picked up one of the garden chairs and pulled it under the tree to a spot from where he could keep an eye on wayward Sei. It would be a while until Kagami arrived. Fortunately he had to visit Kyoto throughout the weekend for a chemical dangers workshop. He had come over for dinner the day before.

Akashi returned a while later, a cat under each arm and dumped both in Kuroko’s lap. Tiger looked a little dazed while Mei attempted to dart away as soon as she was free, but she misjudged the space under the armrest and ended up stuck.

“What is it with our kids?” Kuroko sighed. “How did they end up so dumb?”

Tiger decided then he wanted belly rubs and flopped on his back, right into the spread zone of his sister’s flailing limbs.

“I’ll get us some drinks and snacks.” Akashi said with a fond smile. “Try to keep our children from hurting themselves.”

Kuroko didn’t reply as he was too busy breaking up the catfight that had broken out on his lap. In the face of her brother’s ignorant presence, Mei had pulled herself free with remarkable speed.

They eventually tumbled off Kuroko’s lap and started chasing each other through the garden. After Tiger’s unlucky incident with a neighbor tomcat, they had erected a fence around the garden. So far it had successfully contained all cat shenanigans inside.

*

Kagami took one look at the cat in the tree and sighed. “You do realize I need a ladder for this?”

“There is one in the garden shed.” Akashi said from his chair next to Kuroko. They had prepared a whole picnic while waiting for Kagami’s arrival. There was a table with snacks and drinks and at some point they had installed a parasol to fend off the sun.

Kagami eyed the setup with a frown and was very obviously contemplating a complaint. Just then Sei meowed again, a whole less panicky and mostly annoyed now. He seemed to have come to terms with his predicament, but he’d prefer it if his humans would hurry up.

Kagami shook his head and made his way over to the shed. There was indeed a ladder, but Kagami had enough experience to see on first glance that it didn’t nearly reach high enough to reach the cat.

“Kagami-kun just has to climb the rest then.” Kuroko suggested with s straight face. Akashi just _looked_ at him.

“Alright.” Kagami sighed and pulled off his jacket. Akashi leaned over and held his hands over Kuroko’s eyes.

“I’m afraid it’s too late for my modesty.” Kuroko said. “I have seen Kagami-kun naked countless times.”

“I’m afraid that leaves me no choice.” Akashi said with a dark undertone and eyed Kagami critically. “The hydrangeas could use some more fertilizer, what do you think?”

“But Kagami-kun consists mostly of hamburgers. I do not recommend a fast food diet for our flowers.”

“Oi, would you stop it you two? I’m not stripping. I just don’t want to kill myself by accidentally strangling myself with my hoodie.” Kagami complained. He tossed said hoodie over Kuroko’s head in retaliation. “Now shut up and let me rescue your cat.”

“Take a good look Tiger. One day that will be you.” Kuroko had gotten hold of a sulking Tiger - Mei had quite effortlessly beaten him up, once she caught him - and held him out so he could see Kagami climb the tree. He was surprisingly good at it.

“Now, don’t give our son any ideas.” Akashi chided softly.

Tiger sneezed and wriggled free, only to return seconds later and curl up in Kuroko’s lap, purring loud enough to be heard over the noise Kagami made as he cursed his way up the tree.

“Who should we call if Kagami ends up stuck in the tree?” Kuroko began scratching Tiger’s belly, much to his delight.

“I would recommend Atsushi for his height, but I’m afraid he would be too lazy to even attempt a rescue. Daiki would just get stuck, although it is his duty to help a citizen in need. That leaves Shintarou, but apparently Cancer is ranked low today so we better wait for tomorrow.”

“I heard that. I’m not cooking dinner for you.” Kagami complained from the tree. He then performed an especially acrobatic move, swinging over a branch and hanging on to another with one hand, while simultaneously snatching the startled cat from its spot.

“How about we invite Kagami-kun for a threesome?” Kuroko asked, maybe the tiniest bit breathless.

Akashi regarded him for a moment. Then he looked up at the tree where Kagami currently climbed down one-handed, a rather stunned looking Sei in the other.

“Alright,” he said. “We can ask.”

Mei, for once, went completely ignored.

~*~

They were accosted by three cats as soon as they stepped through the doorway. Even Sei had deigned to come down from his perch to communicate his displeasure at being left alone for this long.

Tiger almost made Kuroko trip in his attempt to climb his legs, while Mei didn’t even bother with formalities and launched herself right into Akashi’s arms. It was either drop his bag and catch her or risk severe cat projectile damage.

Akashi exchanged a look with Kuroko, struggling to balance the annoyed cat in his arms. It seemed Mei had yet to decide if she was angry or wanted cuddles.

“I guess they didn’t like Mayuzumi-san?” Kuroko asked, amusement rather thinly veiled.

Akashi smiled and finally took pity with Sei who was fruitlessly attempting to climb past his sister and reach his head. He dropped him on Kuroko’s head who gave him a rather dour look.

Akashi carried Mei into the kitchen, opened the cabinet and pulled out a can of cat food. Mei instantly decided she very much liked Akashi right now, purring and snuggling into the curve of his neck.

“I was right.” Kuroko said behind him. He looked rather odd with the cat perched on his head - Sei was way too big to fit comfortably, not that it ever stopped him - and Tiger who was happily snuggling up to Kuroko, putting any loyal dog to shame.

On the fridge there was a note, penned in Mayuzumi’s neat script. “Next time you need someone to look after your three demons, don’t ask me.” It was signed with a bloody thumb print, undoubtedly the work of one of the ‘demon’s’ sharp claws.

“I guess that means next time Reo will have to watch the cats.” Akashi said cheerfully. Mei gracefully jumped from his arms and ignored him in favor of her food. Sei meowed from his perch, demanding, yet way too lazy to move on his own. Tiger was perfectly content where he was.

“Absolutely not.” Kuroko said. “I’d rather have Kagami-kun watching after them.”

Akashi tilted his head. “Are you sure? They’ll walk all over him.” And likely end up being even more spoiled than before. Kagami was very weak when it came to the cats. He had spent two hours playing with Sei and Tiger after the tree adventure, insisting he had to make sure they were okay. Mei had snubbed them in favor of bothering Akashi, as usual.

“I prefer that over having to comb perfume out of my cats’ fur.” Kuroko said with a slight upturn of his nose.

Akashi chuckled. He went to pluck a complaining Tiger from Kuroko’s arms and then gently peeled Sei from his perch. He had filled all three bowls and both of the tomcats had learned early that they better emptied theirs before Mei was finished, or else there would be nothing left. He then pulled Kuroko into a close hug.

“We can also just ask one of our neighbors to feed them regularly when we’re gone.” He whispered into Kuroko’s hair.

“They could steal them.” Kuroko muttered against Akashi’s chest.

“At least we don’t have to fear that with Chihiro.”

Kuroko pushed his nose against Akashi’s collar bone. “But Mayuzumi-kun won’t look after them.”

“He says that now. But just wait until Kotaro shows him the pictures.”

“What pictures?” Kuroko asked with a frown.

“The pictures he’s going to take next weekend.” Akashi shifted them around so they could look at each other while still holding on to one another. It was time to get into strategic positioning.

Kuroko’s frown deepened. “You invited your former team mates again?” It wasn’t quite disdain, but it also wasn’t happiness.

“Yes. Eikichi and Reo are coming as well.”

Kuroko’s nose twitched, the way it did when he was annoyed. “I don’t mind, but Akashi-kun should have the courtesy to tell me next time.” He said in a tone he definitely had stolen from Midorima.

“I am telling you know.” Akashi murmured and leaned in to peck a kiss on Kuroko’s cheek.

Kuroko gave him an attempted baleful look. “Akashi-kun won’t appease me with kisses.”

“No?” Akashi kissed his way down to Kuroko’s mouth. Kuroko made a half hearted attempt to turn his head, but gave up soon after.

“I will invite my former team mates the next time.” Kuroko muttered between kisses. “Without telling Akashi-kun. Then I will lock him in a room together with Izuki-kun.”

“Oh, your former point guard? We could discuss tactics, it would be delightful.” Akashi said with a smile. He had kissed his way down to Kuroko’s neck, nibbling at the skin here and there until he could feel Kuroko let out a sigh.

“Alright, but Akashi-kun will clean up the cats’ litter boxes the next month.”

Akashi just hummed and pulled Kuroko into another kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> Haineko literally translates to grey cat and is a very lazy attempt at naming.  
> Mei is short for Meiwaku (= nuisance)


End file.
